Yoav smiling on a couch, playing an electric guitar in front of a whiteboard full of doodles

Yoav

  • Dear reader, I think you should strongly consider going on a date with Yoav. He's an extraordinary person with a rare combination of incisiveness, competence, kindness, and integrity.

    — Ricki Heicklen, read the full thread on X

  • One of the things I appreciate most about Yoav is how safe it feels to be honest with him. He accepts well-meant criticism as valuable feedback; when I once admitted that I shared something about him I should have kept private, he appreciated my honesty and understood how the mistake had happened, while still being clear that I had messed up; and when I am being vulnerable, he listens without judgment and responds by opening up in return.
  • I was at a talk where the speaker kept waving the mic around, making themselves inaudible. I was getting increasingly irritated, and wondered if anyone shared my pain. Then I spotted Yoav at the front, miming 'EAT THE MIC' at the speaker. I knew we'd be friends.
  • Yoav is kind, clever and deeply understanding. When you are with Yoav you will feel at home, you will gain +1 confidence and +2 security to explore scarier things than you could before.
  • When I see Yoav at an event, I now know it will be a better event than I was expecting it to be.
    It is a glaring market failure that Yoav is available to date and you should correct this inefficiency before an institutional market maker snaps him up.
    I cannot imagine an evil version of Yoav.
    Yoav has my highest recommendation as a Hanabi player, and therefore as a life partner.
  • To me, he's the person I turn to at a party when everything starts to get a bit overwhelming, because I know he'll be there to give me a hug and a smile and let me be vulnerable.
  • You seem to have developed a strong ability to hold your attention or energy or something in a very strong ball and hand it around? Almost like the way that they do in preschools with speaking sticks but like it makes it very clear when you are letting someone speak and paying attention and when you are going into question mode, it’s almost the antithesis of high interrupt culture (which seems v common w high adhd autists) and makes it strangely clear how to interact w u?
  • Lived with the guy for 2 years, too bad I'm straight and mono is all I'm saying. Sweet and adventurous
  • yoav is thoughtful, kind, caring, smart, and humble. he's the kind of guy you love telling jokes to. he's the kind of guy you want your other friends to meet, because you already know that they'll all get along. he's the kind of guy who, when you see him, you feel warm inside & notice yourself smiling.
  • Yoav made my front end WOW and SO QUICKLY it was sparkling with all the buttons right there READY to be pressed and I hope he'll do the same for you but in a VERY DIFFERENT WAY
  • Yoav is kind, thoughtful, and interested in experimenting with new things. I feel very at ease around him!
  • One of the emotionally warmest people I know, always ready with a smile and a hug
  • Yoav is deeply kind, gentle, curious and generous. He's always trying new and interesting things and supporting the people around him.

How I relate

I value kindness, and try to see the good in people by default, or at least see their flaws as products of their circumstances rather than evidence of evil.

I'm often looking for a way to improve the experience of the people around me, and like paying attention to detail in order for my effort to land the way I intend. I'm happy listening to people's problems compassionately and skillfully (offering advice iff that's actually helpful), teaching a useful topic or skill I know well, and eliciting intense, novel, and "closening"Translated from the Hebrew חוויה מקרבת: an experience that brings people closer. experiences in others. One of my strongest qualities is patience — I'm able to spend hours calmly holding a partner as they cry, staying present with them.

In turn, I feel deeply happyThe perfect word here would be the Hebrew מאושר, meaning both "deeply happy" and "validated". when people show their appreciation of me by enthusiastically directing effort towards my experience, such as preparing a filling and delicious meal for me, making me a gift, or offering a sexual act that's primarily for my pleasure. In my ideal relationship we do nice things like that for each other often, it feels effortless to both of us, and we both feel very grateful.

Historically I'm more comfortable reacting than leading, but I'm slowly growing a healthy amount of disagreeableness.

Yoav laughing mid-conversation at a festival, under a colorful striped canopy

How I live

I work on technical AI safety, running alignment-hive.com. Until I can no longer be helpful, I intend to invest most of my time and effort doing that, and the rest of it improving my life in the short term. This includes resting, fostering loving and supportive connections (friends, family, romantic partners, and sexual partners), maintaining decent health, and having a steady stream of novel experiences: going to parties and festivals, taking psychedelics, organizing weird events.

After I can no longer help AI go well, and if the world is still recognizable, I'll want to spend most of my time and effort improving my life in the long term, which in addition to the above likely involves living in an intentional community, having kids, and making lots of music.

Some events I've hosted

Yoav dancing at a house party, smiling and looking to the side
Yoav at Burning Man after a sandstorm, hair and beard covered in sand, dusty goggles on his head

Some things I like (and why)

Yoav with a backpacking pack at the Trinity Alps Wilderness trailhead sign, his dad peeking in from the left

What I look for in a partner

Whatever your gender, the more of these qualities you have the better, especially for a primary relationship. I'm open to a wide variety of non-monogamous relationship structures at the moment.

Mind

Temperament

Body

Life

And some things I don't have a strong preference about (in any direction): ambition, style and fashion, tidiness, ethnicity.

First dates I'd enjoy